this morning i went with the education class to see a 'street school' (it actually was called ecole de la rue). it was another time that reminded me that this is still a developing country. sometimes i've gotten so used to the talibe begging in the street or walking past the people with polio asking for money or jumping on the car rapide to school for 20 cents. it was great to know that the kids had a place to learn but it was really sad to realize that this was their schooling, their only form of schooling. the 'front' part of the school was just pieces of wood painted black that they used as chalk boards that were hanging on the wall of the building. since there were shops there - they can only teach when they are closed. we walked around in back through a little shany neighborhood to see the other 'class rooms'. one was an actual one room building filled with donated books, old computers, benches, chairs, etc. although they talked about how a lot of stuff gets ruined during floods in the rainy season. another 'class room' was like an old trailer (with holes in the floor covered with random pieces of wood) that was tiny and actually divided into two class rooms by putting one chalkboard in the middle. everything was funded by donations and all 14 teachers are volunteers.

being at the school and having that feeling again - being extremely sad about seeing the conditions and restrictions that the kids learn in - made me scared to go back to the US. i already always feel too lucky to live the life i'm living, to just be born in the US, and being here has only intensified that. i'm afraid that - after i get back to normal in the US, after the initial excitement of being home - i'm going to be too sad all of the time. thinking of my host family, the children i've seen in the daara or the stree school, the babies at the orphanage, how am i supposed to go back to complaining about gas prices? i feel as though i could just sit here and cry when i think about how unfair it is that i was born where i was and with the family i have. its a feeling i've had before and one i think i'll stuggle with for the rest of my life.