borders.

yesterday i went with Cait, Kerry, Laura and some of Cait's friends out to Ngor Island. it was beautiful. it only cost 500 CFA (about a dollar) to take the bopat out there and was like paradise. the boys had gotten a few beers before hand so basically we just sat on the beach under the shade of the palm trees and hung out. it was perfect.

at one point Abdu (one of the boys we were with) came out and joined me and laura in the water. he asked what we had been talking about and we kinda jokingly said we were talking about life... what it is ... why we are here... he started telling us about the philosophy of begeu or happiness in wolof. how he thought that life is here and now and the past is only for the future. about laura and i being here he said how in other countries, in other places, there are always so many answers to questions you may have never thought to ask... and he thought that life is pink... la vie en rose. it was deep

we talked to him a little about how no matter how long we'll be in senegal or how much we learn we'll still be toubabs... he said he understood, but there are people here who will respect you for who you are... but such is life as a toubab.

on a completely different note... i lost my cell phone last night, which, yeah, sucks cuz now i'll have to buy a new one but its just a replaceable thing so its all good. but later in the night it just made me feel so isolated... there have been a lot of times here when i just feel really alone and so isolated from anything normal. its been hard being here and not being able to call anyone back home whenever i want. its been hard to experience really great or really awful things and not be able to share that with the people i love. losing my phone just made me feel that much more isolated, even isolated from my american friends here... but this made me question if i'm actually living here- in the sense that i'm so tied to my cell phone or other americans.... but this made me think about what my home is... its not just a place... but wherever the people i love are... and i'd love to be there right now.....

"we all have our own borders. on one side is whats easy, what's known, what we've been told is true and have taken for granted. its comfortable here, familiar. but the other side is wider than possibility, brilliant with potential and is looks like our dreams... and they are ours if we can find them and hold them, if we can catapult ourselves across whatever border of fear or doubt or tiredness seems to keep us from them. in the end, the only thing standing between each of us and what we most want, is ourselves.... we are our own border guards. " - off the map.